I am writing my first official Blog post today. The reason is not as would have imagined it to be. I want my Blog post raw, real and vulnerable reflecting a moment of my life. So here we go. It is a perfect outlet to my sadness and my pain right now. Since 2016 I am on the SoulArt Journey wholeheartedly going through different levels and creative phases, looking at old wounds that want to heal. Some of them fee healed others keeps hiding or being pushed back again because it is not the right time to deal with it. Simply too much. Today it hit me gently but intensely. I could really feel the craving for connection with loved ones, friends and relationships in general. At the same time being so afraid of it. This pain was here before the time when Corona was just simply a beer brand, nothing more nothing less.
Tears started to run down my face when I realized “there is something in me that is craving for connection”. Don’t get me wrong, I need times when I am completely on my own and I chose to do 100% Homeoffice before it was trendy or demanded by the government. When I closed my eyes I could see a wall in front of me separating me from others and I felt heartbroken at that very moment. Tears were rolling down my face and my hand touching the wall as if I could send a signal to the other side. And if like by magic other beings behind the wall could actually receive my signal. The more I cried the more the wall dissolved. There was so much compassion, kindness and gentleness in the air. Allowing the sadness to wash away the heart barriers that prevent me to truly connect with others and with myself. Such a profound and deep experience. Thank you SoulArt.